The reflection we see

I watched her raise her weighty hand-held mirror to style the back of her thick dark hair. She moved each curl until she reached satisfaction with the look. When finished, she put the mirror in the dresser drawer and declared, “Done!” With that, I knew Mom was ready to begin her day.

The morning was sometime in the 1950s when all things wonderful began with my mother and the mirror reflection of her outward beauty and inner serenity. She was fine not following trends or traditions but remaining true to herself. I learned from her to be independent and free from ways of life that weren’t my idea of living. She abhorred judgemental behavior and disrespect. As she did, I knew not to follow others who led me to degrading behavior.

I reached into my vanity and pulled the mirror from my drawer to glance at the back of my hair. Today, the mirror is nearing its 70th year of providing smiles or yuks as it often does when I use it. Yet, there isn’t a day when it doesn’t recall my mother’s smile.

The old mirror was sold to my mom by the Fuller Brush salesman that often knocked on our door in McMinnville, Tennessee. I loved to see him walking down the sidewalk in his brown suit carrying his wares. And even though Mom was frugal, she seemed to buy something from the nice man with each visit.

“Fuller Brush has excellent merchandise and will last a long time,” she assured Dad as he spied some new mop, brush, or mirror. She still used the same brush and mirror until she passed away in 2010. So, Mom was right.

The Avon lady also came by, but since Elizabeth Walker used no perfume or makeup other than face powder and lipstick, the Avon lady didn’t increase her riches by stopping at our home. However, the company profited when she visited Grandpa, my grandmother.

Grandpa not only possessed one scent of Avon talcum powder; she often had a dozen. The sweet aroma of strawberry, honeysuckle, lavender, and rose fragrances filled her bathroom. It was always challenging to decide which to use each time I visited her.

From the World Book Encyclopedia and Stanley salesmen to our local pediatrician, they all knocked on our doors back then to sell us fine products or cure our ills.

Dr. Peery, a family friend and our physician, would only come in if he saw candy on the table in the living room. Mom made sure it was filled. He was one of those easygoing doctors who could relieve the worst of aches and pains with his humor and heart.

It is funny how an old relic from the past can remind us of the days when life seemed more straightforward and, in some ways, kinder. Hate was still lurking under the sweet smells of honeysuckle because of rampant racism in the South, yet, consideration, dignity, and Godliness were paramount in most homes.

“Yes, ma’am and No, sir” were sentence staples; if we didn’t respect others, we received a little pinch or nudge to remind us. I was taught never to utter a word that brought dishonor to those I loved and admired. When I didn’t get my way and I pitched my hissy fits, I was sent to my room until I could be civil. I spent many hours in time out because my sassy mouth often didn’t know when to close.

There are many lessons we can learn from traveling back into memories. The friendly, humble Fuller Brush man who proudly sold his mirrors and mops provided for his family, walking door to door without complaint. The doctor who loved his candy and the children he cared for will forever be remembered by many as their healer. I can still smell the aroma of Grandpa’s various talcum powders, which remind me of her sweetness.

When we look in the mirror, what do we see? Are we proud of who we are and what we do? Is kindness and serenity part of the reflection, or do we just notice and complain about the wayward curl or the lines on our brows?

In those days, we were punished for not respecting and appreciating one another. Today, many applaud rudeness and humiliation, especially politically. I wonder if those who demean another were ever sent to their room to stew in their misery. Or did time erase their memory of integrity and its impact on our culture?

Kindness sells many wares, including God’s grace, whose face we should see accompanying ours in our reflections daily. I clearly recognized Him in the old Fuller Brush mirror beside my mother.